


Food for Thought

by WildWolf25



Series: Message in a Bottle Series (prompts from my ship-mate) [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Asexual Character, Comedy, Food Kink, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, I have too many ace character headcanons send help, Prank War, Sort of? - Freeform, coran wants no part in your interspecies polyamory thank you very much, frank discussions of sexual content, never trust the Garrison Trio, no it's not what you think, no one has sex they just talk about it a lot, the uliro is only background sorry, wildly inappropriate use of a dildo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 09:16:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10987914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildWolf25/pseuds/WildWolf25
Summary: After a very uncomfortable breakfast his first morning in the Castle of Lions, Ulaz learns that Galra and Earthlings (and Alteans) have some very prominent cultural differences, specifically relating to food.  Once they get some misunderstandings cleared up, though, Lance gets a certain idea...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Taking a break from uploading all my backlogged finished fics to put up this one due to PEER PRESSURE (jk I sent her a teaser, this one’s on me). Prompt from shipthepuppy was: “for galra, eating food is considered kinky as they don’t normally eat except before a mating cycle. Shiro just stops and says “holy shit guys, Zarkon probably has a feeding kink”. And they weave it into their battle tactics the next time they fight by all carrying around space apples and space grapes to eat to distract him. It’s easier to sneak attack a horny person…” And I’m cutting off your last sentence because of spoilers! I didn’t get all of that, but I did get the last bit.
> 
> Edit: thought I should mention, shippy's prompt was inspired by this wonderful fic (http://archiveofourown.org/works/10696146) but I didn't actually find/read it until after I had this pretty much done. If I knew how to add a link I would, but there ya go. It's called "Satisfied" by Demenior and whenever I see the title I get the Hamilton song stuck in my head for an hour

Ulaz had to admit, he did not know much about Altean culture.  He was aware that they had been a very peaceful, diplomatic people, but that was about it; the destruction of one’s entire solar system, let alone planet, tended to erase most knowledge about them.  It had also been ten thousand years since Altea had even existed, so no one remembered it by first or even secondhand account anymore.  At this point, he believed some scholarly archives in libraries might have some old texts about Altean history and culture, but such information was seldom known by the general public.

He knew even less about Earth.  The basics were well-known, of course -- largest terrestrial planet in its solar system, one natural satellite, seventy percent covered in water… -- but little was known about the people that inhabited it.  They weren’t nearly as advanced as many other alien species, based on their limited number of expeditions in their quaint little space ships, and for some reason they preferred to send robotic devices rather than people to anything further than their own moon.  The rest of the universe assumed that Earthlings were just shy -- much like their neighbors, the Martians -- preferring to learn about the galaxy from a distance without interacting with other aliens and only occasionally making trips to other planets, each time without first contacting the locals.  Many saw this as a bit rude, but most figured it was just another difference in culture.  Such differences were not at all uncommon, given the size of the universe and the number of planets contained in it.  It was the mark of a diplomatic people to be able to navigate such differences.    

Ulaz had been on board the Castle of Lions for all of ten vargas when he was confronted with one very,  _ very  _ prominent cultural difference.

From his understanding of it, it had been nearly fifteen doboshes since the paladins and Alteans had woken from their resting period, yet for some reason, none of them had made it to the training deck yet.  Ulaz was confused.  Was it possible that they chose to do mental training before physical training?  It had already been explained to him that Voltron could only be formed by the five paladins opening their minds and becoming one with each other, their five consciousnesses coming together to create one that would allow them to move fluidly and in synch with each other.  Surely, then, mental training must take priority.  Unfortunately, he did not know where they would go to do such training.  

He wandered through the castle, wondering where they all were, when a squeak caught his attention.  Ulaz turned to find the space mice he had seen Allura holding before, all of them sitting next to a fork in the hallways.  One of them pointed down the hall with its tail, then the group of them scampered off in that direction.  He tilted his head thoughtfully.  Did they want him to follow?  

Cautiously, lest he be misinterpreting their signals, Ulaz followed the creatures around the corner.  They had stopped at another fork in the halls, and after some more tail-pointing, they disappeared once more.  He trailed behind them, more confidently than before, but still just as confused.  They led him to a closed door with a label written in Altean on it, which he could not read, but he could hear the voices of the paladins inside the room.  Ulaz pressed his hand to the sensor next to the door and it slid open, revealing a scene that had him stopping in his tracks.  

Inside the room was a long table, filled with many chairs.  Princess Allura sat at the head of the table, Coran on her right, and the rest of the paladins were seated along the other two sides of the table.  Each had a plate in front of them, and there were several dishes in the middle of the table, all of them full of food.  The princess and Coran had a plateful of some sort of green goo each, while the paladins were all taking all sorts of foods from the center plates to fill their own plates.  They were all  _ eating _ .   _ Together _ .  Not only that, but they were talking and laughing, as though what they were doing was completely normal.  Even as he watched, the space mice scurried up onto the tabletop, and Hunk smiled and held out a slice of some sort of fruit for them.  Eating in such a large group?  And with  _ animals _ ?  Ulaz had never heard of such a thing.  

He had to wonder just how close these paladins were, between forming Voltron and eating together.  What had he gotten himself involved with?  

He hadn’t realized he was still hovering, stunned speechless, in the doorway until Shiro looked up and spotted him.  “Oh, Ulaz, you’re just in time for breakfast.”  The castle translator in his ear stumbled over the last word, unable to land on a proper translation.

“Break...fast?”  He asked.  

“Yeah, the morning meal.”  Hunk said.  “Do you guys not eat breakfast?”

“That’s not that unusual.”  Pidge said, sipping their bright green drink that smelled strongly of caffeine.  “I seldom ate breakfast at home.  Too busy, didn’t feel like it.”

“That explains why you’re so short.”  Lance told them.  There was a  _ thunk _ from under the table that was quickly followed by a surprised yelp.  “Ow!  Did you just kick me?!”

“Of course not,” Pidge hid a wicked grin behind their space-coffee cup.  “How could I possibly kick you with my legs that are just  _ soooo _ short?”

“Guys, come on, we talked about this.  No fighting at the table.”  Shiro chided, reaching for another helping of what looked like purple tuber roots that had been finely grated and fried.  “Ulaz, help yourself to anything you want.  There are plates over in the corner there.”  

“I… do not believe that would be appropriate.”  Ulaz said slowly, still trying to process this.  The concept of ‘blushing’ had been explained to him yesterday, in response to his question why Lance’s face had changed color when Keith whispered something in his ear.  He was positive that if Galra were capable of producing the same discoloration effect when embarrassed or uncomfortable, he would surely be displaying it now.  

“Sure it is,” Hunk said.  “You’re part of the team now, of course you can eat with us.”  

“I must admit, I would be wary about dining with a Galra,” Allura admitted.  “ But we are allies now, and even I would not be so cold as to force a guest on our ship to dine alone.”

Ulaz did not see what the point to eating alone was.  Did Alteans eat alone?  How did they…? He shook himself mentally; a discussion with the princess was not the time to be considering her eating habits.  Then again, she was eating right in front of him, they all were.  Ulaz was beginning to feel very uncomfortable.

“Are you not hungry?”  Shiro asked, studying Ulaz.  

“Oh no, certainly not.”  Ulaz said quickly.  He couldn’t believe Shiro had just  _ asked  _ him that.  

“Even so, we’ll have a long day of training ahead of us, and I’d like if you could join in,” Coran said, handing him a plate of food goo.  “You should eat something, even if you think you’re fine.”  

Ulaz took the plate hesitantly, still feeling very uncomfortable with this whole situation.  He picked up the spoon that was given to him, and the paladins went back to their discussion, something about plans for building a ‘gaming projector’, whatever that was.  Shiro seemed to be keeping one eye on their conversation and one eye on Ulaz, glancing at him every so often with his lips tilted in the barest hint of a frown, like he had something on his mind.  

Ulaz picked at his food, unable to make himself partake in much of it; he didn’t want to have any adverse reactions due to eating.  And there was just so  _ much  _ food… he hated to think what that meant, what would come next.  Did this mean that they were all mates?  All the paladins, and even the two Alteans, all together?  And Coran was so much older than the rest of them… Even knowing it could be due to cultural differences, that still didn’t sit right with Ulaz.  What was even more unsettling that it seemed that Ulaz had just been drawn into their group as well.  Aside from Shiro, he had known all of them for only a quintant, and now they wanted him to eat with him?  What next?  Would they coerce him into their… arrangement, as well?  He hesitated to call it ‘mating’, as there were much more than just two of them.  It was more of a… a pack, he supposed.  How peculiar.  

Ulaz grew increasingly wary as the meal drew to a close.  After each one finished eating, the paladins took their plates to the sink along the wall and rinsed them off before putting them in the dishwasher, still chatting amiably with each other.  They cleaned up the rest of the food and wiped the table down with a rag, and Ulaz was impressed with the amount of restraint they were exhibiting.  Ordinarily people didn’t bother with cleaning up the food and dishes until after the subsequent activity was finished as well.  These paladins, though, didn’t seem to be affected at all.  

“Hey Keith, race ya!”  Lance smacked him on the shoulder as he passed, already running out of the dining room.  Keith let out an indignant shout and ran after him. 

“What’s on the agenda for today?”  Hunk asked Shiro as the rest of them left the dining room at a more leisurely pace.  

“I figured we could start with a warm-up, and then maybe Ulaz could show us some moves.”  Shiro said.  “We can structure it like a mock tournament, so everyone gets a turn with him.”

“I’m afraid I must decline.”  Ulaz could not believe Shiro had just volunteered him for something like that.   _ Everyone _ getting a  _ turn  _ with him?  “I do not believe it would be appropriate.”  

Shiro looked back at him, confused.  “You don’t want to spar with us?”  

Ulaz blinked.  “Spar?”  

“I mean, you don’t have to,” Shiro said.  “I just thought it would be useful to practice fighting someone who knows Galra tactics.  Frankly, you kicked our asses when you broke into the castle that first time; we’d like to be able to be better prepared next time a Galra tries doing that.”  

“You wish for me to teach you how to fight in Galra style?”  Ulaz asked, seeking clarification.  The change in topic from post-eating activities to sparring had seemed abrupt to him, and he wasn’t entirely sure where the transition had happened.

“If you’re alright with it.”  Shiro said.  

“No, you are right, that would be useful.”  Ulaz mused.  “When would you like this demonstration?”

“Now, if that’s okay,”  Shiro said, pressing a hand to the sensor next to the training deck door to open it.  

Now?  When they were all wound up like this?  That would be highly distracting.  Although, perhaps that was the point of the exercise, to be able to push past such distractions.  Oddly enough, though, the rest of them didn’t seem to be acting out of the ordinary.  It was only Ulaz that was tense, feeling wound up like there was a spring coiled tight in his abdomen.  Perhaps Earthlings and Alteans had stronger willpower and restraint than even the Galra.  

Ulaz was on-edge for the rest of the morning.  He felt as tight as a wire, ready to snap at the slightest pressure.  The sparring turned out to be a good opportunity to push such thoughts away, but the need was still there, itching at the back of his mind even as he fought each of the paladins.  It was there when he disarmed Keith with a series of quick jabs to his sword arm, when he knocked Lance flat on his back, when he tripped Hunk and knocked his bayard away, when he threw Pidge off of him after they had used their bayard as a grappling hook to swing onto his back only to be thrown into the mats.  

Every point of contact he had with the paladins -- which, considering it was hand-to-hand combat, was quite a lot -- chipped away at the wall he had holding back the urge to touch more, this time without armor in the way.  He felt unsettled and repulsed by this urge (these were his new allies!  Practically comrades in arms!), and cursed whatever had possessed them to eat before training.  Without that, he wouldn’t have this need coiled tight in his gut, there whenever he fought one of them.  It was even there when he couldn’t help but notice the two Alteans studying him thoughtfully, and although he told himself they were surely assessing his military tactics rather than his physical prowess, he was having a hard time believing it.  

When he dodged a strike from Shiro and twisted his arm to throw him to the floor, pinning him down, Ulaz had decided that he had had quite enough of this.  “You left your stance too wide.”  He told him curtly, getting up before Shiro could tell what this position was doing to him.  

Shiro sat up, studying his expression a little too carefully for Ulaz’s liking.  “Are you alright?”  

“I am perfectly fine.”  Ulaz turned his back to him to replace the practice sword on the weapons rack, perhaps taking a little longer than necessary to avoid looking at them.  “It is you who you should be concerned with.  If I was able to take you down like that, there’s no telling what an elite Galra assassin would be able to do.”  

Shiro sighed as he got to his feet.  “You’re right.  Clearly we all need more practice.”  He glanced at a clock hung on the far wall.  “Let’s take a break, and we’ll come back to this after we eat lunch.”  

“Yeah, lunch!”  Lance cheered.  “I’m starving!”  

Ulaz paled; they were going to eat  _ again _ ?  And how could they possibly be hungry again?  They hadn’t even done anything!  Unless the sparring  _ was  _ Earthling mating?  It had been right after they had eaten, after all… Oh, good heavens, and Ulaz had just  _ participated  _ in it… or did he?  They hadn’t… well, maybe it was simply different than the Galra way?  But he hadn’t thought they had... Surely they would have had to  _ ask _ , first, right?  He hadn’t consented to this… this… whatever it was they were doing...   

He was so incredibly confused, and it must have showed on his face, because Shiro turned to him after he had taken his helmet off, sweat making his hair stick to his forehead.  “Ulaz?  Is something wrong?”        

“I’m afraid I must decline your invitation.”  Ulaz said.  “I’m sorry, but I will not be eating with you again.”  

“...Why?”  Hunk asked slowly.  

“This is highly inappropriate.  We hardly know each other.  Furthermore, Galra are monogamous; I’m afraid I cannot get used to the idea of having multiple mates.”  Ulaz sighed.  “I am sorry, but I cannot consent to this.”  

“Wait, what?”  Keith tilted his head, puzzled.  

“Dude, who said anything about mates?!”  Lance asked.  

Allura gasped, her hands flying up to cover her mouth.  “Oh goodness, is eating a part of Galra mating customs?”  

“Of course.”  Ulaz replied, puzzled by her surprise.  Lance let out a squawk and Hunk’s mouth fell open in shock.  Shiro’s face turned a bright red color, and Pidge muffled their laughter in their hand.  Ulaz looked around at all of them, taking in their reactions.  “Is it… not the same, for you?”  

“It most definitely is not.”  Allura looked flustered.  “I am so sorry, Ulaz, we had no idea.  Ten thousand years ago, I know, it wasn’t unheard of for Galra mates to sometimes partake in a meal together, but it wasn’t a common practice.  I had assumed it had died out, rather than became the norm.”  

“So you’re saying you get turned on by  _ eating _ ?”  Hunk said.  “And you… wow, damn.  That… had to have been awkward, this morning.”  

“It most certainly was.”  Ulaz did not even feel like lying; his discomfort had been that great.  “So, you were not trying to pressure me into joining your… mating pack?”  

Lance made a funny choking laugh sound and Hunk buried his face in his hands.  Keith’s ears and cheeks matched the color of his armor and Pidge rubbed a hand over their face.  Allura closed her eyes for a moment, looking like she was praying for strength.  Coran looked horrified, and Ulaz wasn’t sure if he ought to be relieved or offended that the Altean man looked so adverse to the thought of Ulaz joining them.

“No, no, no, definitely not!”  Coran said quickly, shaking his head.  “Alteans may take more than one partner sometimes, but never with such a difference in ages… good heavens, I’m Allura’s godfather, that would be simply immoral!”  

“Let’s all be perfectly clear, right here and now,” Pidge said.  “We’re not having sex.  No one is having sex.  For humans, eating is not connected to sex.”  

“I mean, it could be.”  Lance mused.  They all stared at him, Pidge looking thoroughly unamused.  Lance shrugged.  “What?  I’m just saying, it could be someone’s thing.  Whipped cream and all that stuff, you know?”  

“Please never involve food in any of your weird kinks.”  Hunk said, looking scandalized.

“I didn’t say they were  _ my  _ kinks!”  

Keith threw his hands up in the air, heading for the door.  “I’m out.”  

“Wait, we’re not leaving this room until we get this straightened up.”  Shiro said, putting a hand on Keith’s shoulder.  

Coran pinched the bridge of his nose.  “To be quite clear, Ulaz, Alteans and Earthlings are both species that require ingestion of nutrients to sustain their living biochemical processes.  Eating is not a part of our mating habits, merely our survival ones.”  

“I’m terribly sorry for any confusion or discomfort this must have caused you.”  Allura added.  “It was not our intention.”  

“That is alright.  It was simply a cultural misunderstanding.”  Ulaz was relieved that was all it was.  “I am glad we were able to clear that up.”  

“Exactly what role does food play in Galra mating practices?”  Pidge asked, curious.  

“Galra mates share a meal together just before copulation.”  Ulaz explained.  “Hunger is defined as having a desire to engage in such an act with a mate, tied mostly to sexual desire.  We do not need to eat simply to stay alive; our bodies are self-sufficient.  The only time we feel hunger is when we desire our mates, and so we fulfil the physical side with food and the emotional side with intimacy.  Eating is seen as an erotic act.”  

“Like foreplay?”  

The castle translator stumbled a bit before landing on a suitable definition, amounting to the activities done before intercourse to set the mood.  Ulaz nodded.  “Yes.”

“Damn, that’s like if we were all waving dildos around.”  Pidge said thoughtfully.  Allura covered her face with her hands and the rest of them turned bright red and averted their eyes.  

“You have a very strange idea of what foreplay involves,” Hunk told the green paladin, looking bemused.

“Or if we were groping each other all morning.  Whatever.”  Pidge shrugged.  “Point is, it’s awkward as quiznak.”  

“And we subjected Ulaz to that unwittingly.”  Shiro added, then turned to the Galra man.  “We’re very sorry about that.  You do not need to join us for meals, if it makes you uncomfortable.  Just know that we don’t view it that way; we’re not mates or in a relationship or anything.”  

“I will keep that in mind.”  Ulaz nodded.  

“So, are we good now?”  Lance asked.  “Because I really am hungry.  Like, for food, not sex.”

“Yes, now you may fulfil your heterotrophic need to consume nutrients.”  Coran said.

“Hetero… what?”  Lance gave him an odd look.

“He means we can feed the machine now.”  Pidge said, patting their stomach.  

“Nothing about me is hetero- anything.”  Lance said, leading the way out the door, while Hunk tried to explain that yes, his cells were.  

“I will remain here and work on building a training regiment while you are… eating.”  Ulaz said.

“We will look forward to continuing after lunch.”  Shiro said, nodding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone save Ulaz. Poor guy was so concerned... XD


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this is technically where the mature rating comes in, but because I'm me (aka ace AF) this isn't sexy at all. It's like... borderline scientific. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ There is a dildo, beware.

“Hunk, my buddy, my man, my pal, my engineering genius.” Lance said, throwing an arm around his friend’s shoulder.  It was after dinner, and everyone had been dismissed for the night.  

Hunk looked up from dismantling what looked like something a Transformer might have vomited up, all bright wires and twisted metal.  “What do you need made?”

“Why do you automatically assume I need something from you?”  Lance asked, feigning offense.  “Can’t I just come say hi to my buddy and see what he’s up to?”

“We’ve been best friends for five years.  I know that tone.”  Hunk told him.  “That’s your I-have-a-brilliant-plan-that-is-actually-going-to-get-us-in-trouble-but-I-can’t-do-it-myself tone.”  

“That’s a very specific tone.”  Lance said.  “I won’t argue with that, though.  Very astute of you.”

“So, what do you need made?”  Hunk asked, turning back to his work.  He frowned down at two wires, studying them.

“A dildo.”  Lance wasn’t sure if it was his words or the spark of electricity from the wires that made Hunk bark out a yelp like that.  Probably both.

Hunk turned to him and looked at him like he had grown a second head that had started tap dancing the macarena.  “I am not making you a  _ dildo _ , Lance!”  He hissed, glancing worriedly in the direction of the door, like someone was going to walk by and hear their conversation.  

“I’m not going to  _ use _ it, that would be weird.”  Lance said.  “I just have an idea for a little experiment, and it needs that.”

“No offense, but  _ that makes me want to help you even less _ .”  

“Yeah, that came out wrong.”  Lance admitted.  “Okay, but just hear me out…”  It took few minutes to explain, but by the end, Hunk was no longer blushing furiously and instead looked like he was considering it.  

“I suppose it’s possible…” Hunk mused.  “It’s certainly worth a shot.  And you’re right, our sample size of humans, while small, is bigger than our sample size of Galra…” he trailed off, thinking.  “We could use the 3D printer, but we would still need a model.  What would we use, for that?”

“Well…” Lance looked down pointedly.  

“No.”  Hunk blushed.  

“Or…” Lance smirked and put his hands on his hips, pushing his pelvis out a little.  

“Even more no.”  Hunk shook his head.  “Nope, nope, nope.  I am not taking extensive measurements of anyone’s junk.”  

“Then just make it the general shape.”  Lance said.  “It doesn’t have to be that realistic.  We could use a banana for about the same effect, but this is easier than finding a space-fruit store.  If it needs details, I’ll add them.”  

“I can’t believe you’re talking me into this.”  Hunk sighed.  “Alright, fine, let’s make a space dildo.”  

~~~~~

“I am never, ever leaving you in charge of the final details again.”  Hunk said, resolutely keeping his eyes fixed on the ceiling and not the thing that was in Lance’s hands.  “I cannot believe you made it flesh-colored.”  

“No matter what color it is, it’s going to be some alien’s skin color.”  Lance reminded him, looking over their creation.  It wasn’t huge or ostentatious, just a plain ol’ dildo, not even that detailed.  The color had come out a bit darker than intended, somewhere between his own skin color and Hunk’s.  He supposed having it not match anyone exactly would make it less awkward, though.  “Alright, who should our first victim be?”  

“No one,” Hunk said.  “This is a terrible idea and we are going to get in so much trouble.”  

“How about Pidge?”  

“If you want a bayard zap to the face, then sure, sounds like a swell idea.”

“Let’s go with Pidge.”  Lance decided, ignoring him.  “They’re always in their lab around this time, anyway, so they’ll be easy to find.”  

“Pidge is going to kill us and we’re going to go to hell for this.”  Hunk muttered, sighing in resignation and following his friend.  

Hunk refused to participate in the experiment himself, leaving Lance as the one to do it.  While Hunk hid behind the wall and peered around the corner, Lance squared his shoulders and strolled in, dildo in hand.  “Hey, Pidge, fancy seeing you here.”  He said cheerfully, tossing the dildo from hand to hand.  

“In my own lab, gasp, what a coincidence.”  Pidge deadpanned, not even looking up from their work.  They had long since passed the days when the single desk was sufficient to hold their research and experiments, so they could frequently be found sprawled out on the floor surrounded by books and computers and bits of tech, and today was no exception.  “Did you need something?”  They asked, pushing their glasses further up their nose and reaching for a book written in Altean.

“Just wanted to stop by,” Lance sat down across from them, propping his arm on his knee and waving the dildo lazily.  “Whatcha working on?”  

“Trying to increase the precision of the particle cannons mounted on the lions’ tails.”  Pidge replied, fingers flying over the keys.  

“Oh yeah, gotta keep those shots precise,” Lance smirked, dragging the head of the dildo over his cheek.  “Can’t have those particles shooting all over the place, that’d make a  _ mess _ .”  

“Actually the real danger is one of us accidentally incinerating each other, but sure.”  Pidge said flatly.  “Are you planning on making out with that dildo here or will you be taking it back to your room?”  

“Wha--?  How are you not reacting to that at all?!”  Lance dropped the act.

“Probably because I don’t care.”  Pidge looked up finally, quirking an eyebrow up at him.  “Is there a reason you’re trying to get my attention with a dildo, or is it just for kicks?”  

Lance sighed.  “Okay, listen, I’ve got this theory…”  As he explained it, Hunk finally came around the corner from where he had been watching.  Pidge looked thoughtful as they listened to his idea.  

“Personally, I doubt it would work.”  They said, when Lance was finished.  “I mean, from my point of view, it doesn’t make sense.  But you never know, allos do weird things when sex is involved.  It does seem to be an effective motivator in certain situations, so it could be an equally effective distractor as well, I guess.  It probably depends on how much someone cares about sex in general.  Obviously, someone who is ace would remain largely unaffected.”  They gestured to themselves.

“You’re ace?”  Lance asked.  

“Hey, I’m demi-ace!”  Hunk said, pointing to himself.  

“Space aces unite.”  Pidge grinned and held up their hand for a high-five.  “Anyway, you should probably try that little experiment of yours on someone who cares.”  Pidge told Lance.  “I’d suggest anyone who seemed extremely embarrassed during the conversation about eating as a Galra kink.”  

“ _ You  _ got embarrassed.”  Lance said, turning to Hunk, who went bright red.

“Sex is a personal thing, okay?”  He sputtered, looking away.

“Sex is a mildly fascinating topic, just not an activity I’d care to partake in.”  Pidge shrugged.  “By the way, I’m not an expert, but you should probably work on your dildo-holding technique.  Tossing it from hand to hand wasn’t the sexiest look, objectively.”

“Hm, so like  _ this _ ?”  Lance smirked and wrapped his hand around the dildo, pumping up and down lazily.  Hunk let out a garbled yelp and smacked it away, face dark red.  The silicone object bounced against Pidge’s laptop with a dull  _ splat _ , knocking the lid onto their hands as it rebounded.  

“Keep your dick off my computer!”  Pidge shouted, righting the screen and slapping the dildo away.  It almost rolled past Lance before he caught it, and he just barely managed to hide it in his jacket pocket as the door opened and Shiro poked his head in cautiously.  

“What on Earth are you guys doing in here?”  He asked, looking perplexed.  

“We’re not on Earth anymore, Shiro, get with the program.”  Pidge flashed him an innocent grin.  He blinked, then chuckled at the joke.

“Alright, alright.  I just… must have misheard something.”  Shiro gave them one last look, then left, closing the door behind him.

Pidge dropped the act and rounded on Lance, pointing at him sternly.  “Keep your dick off of my computer.”  They hissed.  “I don’t even want to know  _ where  _ that thing has been.”  

“So far, the only thing this has been inside is the 3-D printer.”  Lance said.  

“Android sex, kinky.”  

“When we were making it, you quiznak!” 

“I still don’t think you’re using that word correctly.”  

~~~~~

Their next victim ended up being Keith.  Pidge joined them in their little ‘experiment’, if only because this one required three people.  While the four of them were on the training deck one day, Lance suggested they work on guarding each other’s backs again.  Lance and Keith went back to back, and Pidge and Hunk started attacking them, respectively.  Hunk concentrated on trying to knock Keith’s bayard out of his hand, while Pidge and Lance tried to make it look like they were fighting when really they were keeping an eye out for the opportunity.  

Finally, Hunk succeeded in landing a hit to the inside of Keith’s elbow that forced him to drop his bayard, then he kicked the bayard in the direction of Lance and Pidge.  

“I gotcha, buddy!”  Lance said, holding something out.  

“Thanks,” Keith reached back and grabbed it, preparing to swing at Hunk…

Only to find himself holding a semi-realistic, flesh-colored, silicone dick.

“What the  _ fuck _ ?!”  Keith dropped it in surprise and stumbled back, eyes wide.  Before he could process what was happening, he found that Hunk, Lance, and Pidge had all surged around him and were holding their weapons mere inches from his face.  No one moved, for a few moments, then Lance pulled back and pumped his fist in the air with a “ _ whoop! _ ”

“Ha!  It worked!  Suck it, Pidge!”  The blue paladin cheered, pointing at Pidge victoriously.

“I am not sucking anything.”  Pidge quipped, handing Keith his bayard again.  

“What the shit just happened?”  Keith asked, still stunned.

“See, Lance has this theory that we can use sex stuff to our advantage when it comes to fighting the Galra.”  Hunk said.  

“A bit like that one bard character you had at the Garrison D&D nights.”  Pidge said, kicking the dildo in Lance’s direction.  

“Oh yeah, Sam the bisexual bard.  He was fun to play.”  Lance said, scooping up the dildo and pointing it at the green paladin.  “And don’t kick my dick.”  

“You’re asking for a kick in the real dick, waving that thing in my face.”  Pidge said bluntly.  

“ _ Anyway _ ,” Lance turned to Keith, hands on his hips.  “The theory is this: Ulaz said eating is erotic and a turn-on for Galra, so what if we incorporate that into our strategies?  Like, we can just distract them by eating an apple or something,  _ and _ , we get a little boost from having a snack in the process.  It’ll take them completely by surprise!”  

“That is the dumbest idea I have ever heard of.”  Keith crossed his arms.  

“Says the guy who was sufficiently distracted by a mere dildo to the point where three weapons were aimed at his neck.”  Pidge reminded him.

“You were  _ supposed  _ to be watching my back!”  Keith rounded on Lance.  

“This is more fun.”  Lance said, waving the dildo near his face.  Keith went bright red and smacked it away.  Lance gasped in mock offense.  “Hey!  Be nice to Richard!”  

“You  _ named _ it?!”         

~~~~~

After making Keith swear not to tell anyone about their plan, Lance, Hunk, and Pidge made it their mission to surprise the remaining members of Team Voltron with the dildo.  Hunk called it data gathering.  Pidge called it a prank war.

They had to be sneaky, as somewhere along the line, it had become their goal to prank everyone before the rest managed to figure it out.  Pidge lured Allura out of her room under the premise of needing some ‘girl advice’ while Lance dashed in and hid the dildo in one of her drawers.  That day had ended with Pidge knowing far more about Altean courting techniques than they felt they needed to know, and a horrified scream from within Allura’s room when she discovered the surprise.  

Next, Hunk handed it to Coran instead of a screwdriver while the Altean man was half-inside a wall panel fixing something on the particle barrier generator.  Coran had smacked his head on the low ceiling and muttered a slew of curses that the castle would only translate as censor beeps (so they must have been much worse than just ‘quiznak’), while he chucked the offending dildo as far as he could down the hall and banned Hunk from helping him for the rest of the day.  

Shiro was their final victim.  After some discussion, they agreed that they didn’t want to do anything that might trigger his PTSD, so typical jump-scares were out of the question.  This last one didn’t need to be elaborate, they decided, it was really more a formality at this point.  Just to round out the whole group, almost like a casual hazing.  They settled on simply leaving the dildo outside Shiro’s bedroom door, knocking, and then running away to watch though the camera Pidge had hooked up, the feed connecting to their holopad.  For a few seconds, nothing happened, then the door slid open and Ulaz stepped out, surprising them.  

“What is he doing there?”  Lance whispered.  Pidge gave him a pointed look and held a finger to their lips.  Galra had better hearing, and they were only just around the corner.  

On the screen, they watched Ulaz stare down at the dildo on the floor for a few moments.  He looked back into Shiro’s room, then down at the dildo again, tilting his head curiously.  

“Who was it?”  Shiro’s voice asked from inside the room.  

“A more accurate question might be, what is it?”  Ulaz said, stooping down to pick it up.  He turned it over in his hands.  “I’ve never seen anything quite like this before.”  

“Let me see,” there was a rustle like someone sliding off a bed, then Shiro appeared in the doorway as well.  Ulaz held it out in the flat of his hand, and Shiro made a choked sound and turned bright red, visible even on the grainy camera.  

“What is it?”  Ulaz asked, obviously perplexed by his reaction.  

“I’ll, uh… explain later.”  Shiro coughed.  “Right now, I’ve got some paladins to yell at.”  

“Abort mission, abort mission!”  Hunk hissed, and they all scrambled to their feet and ran to the lounge, where Keith was reading a book.  

The red paladin looked up, surprised.  “What are you--?”

“We’ve been here this whole time!”  Pidge hissed, vaulting over the back of the couch to sit next to him and shoving their holopad in their pocket.  

“I’m asleep!”  Lance added, stretching out on his stomach on the couch and hiding his face in his arms.  

“I… uh…” Hunk looked around frantically and dropped into the seat next to Lance just as the door slid open and Shiro stormed in, dildo in hand and ears very pink.  Ulaz followed him in, ducking to fit through the doorframe and still looking confused.

“Alright, paladins, team meeting.”  Shiro stopped in front of them, stance rigid and militant, and held out the offending object.  “I found  _ this  _ lying around.  Now, I don’t want to know whose it is, or how it got in front of my room, or even any excuses about why you made it.  We’re all adults, and I get that, but you need to keep this stuff to yourselves, got it?”  

“Wait, Shiro, I can explain,” Lance said, sitting up.  

Shiro closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, slowly releasing a tense exhale.  “Lance, I really,  _ really  _ did not need to know this was yours.”  

“Actually, it’s kind of all of ours,”  Lance said.  Shiro’s expression shifted to horrified and Hunk elbowed his friend sharply.  “Wait, no, not like that!  No one has used it!”  He quickly explained their theory about using food -- something ‘sexy’ by Galra standards -- as a distraction technique, which they had been attempting to test by using something humans would view the same way.

“Intriguing…” Ulaz mused, taking the dildo from Shiro and examining it.  “So this is something humans eat before mating?”

Lance made a sound like a cat being stepped on, Keith hid his face in his book, Hunk sputtered and covered his eyes with his hands, and Pidge just cackled.  

“Not… exactly…” Shiro said, bright red.  “It’s… uh… supposed to mimic the male human reproductive organ.  For sex.”  

“You  _ can  _ put it in your mouth, but you probably shouldn’t bite down or try to eat it.”  Pidge added.  The other four paladins groaned, looking deeply unsettled at the thought.  

“Ah, I see.”  Ulaz said, nodding.  “It looked quite a bit different than Galra ones, but I can see the similarities, now.  It’s so small, though, I did not think--”

“ _ Okay _ !  That’s enough of that!”  Shiro snatched the object back and threw it at Lance.  “Take your dildo back, and I don’t care what you do with it, but I don’t want to see it again.”  

“Yes sir.”  Lance saluted, and it would have looked a lot less silly if he wasn’t saluting with the hand that was still holding a fake dick. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cackles* I think this chapter was my favorite to write
> 
> lol the part about Pidge luring Allura out of her room under the premise of needing some ‘girl advice’... Was it because they’re both technically girls or advice about girls? You get to decide ;)
> 
> And no one ended up using the dildo. After everything it’s been through, it would just be too awkward. Maybe someone made their own later with the 3D printer, now that they knew it was an option. Maybe not. It’s up to interpretation. (IDK, do teens really think about sex? Until I was 22 I thought sexual attraction was a myth perpetuated by the media as a form of social control over teenagers, so I’m not the best point of reference)


	3. Epilogue

This was it.

They were finally going to infiltrate the command ship and go after Zarkon.  It had taken tireless months of planning and preparation from both Team Voltron and the Blade of Marmora, but now, everything was in place.  Pidge, Hunk, Coran, and Slav had worked together to add cloaking abilities to all of the lions, which could now last up to a half-hour rather than a few minutes.  Similar cloaking devices had been installed on the paladins’ suits, but they were slightly different in that they could still be seen through a special filter in the visors of their helmets, so they didn’t end up firing on their own team members.  An undercover agent on the inside would fabricate some kind of mechanical error and shut down the particle barrier long enough for them to get onto the ship.  Each paladin and Blade member going aboard the ship was outfitted with a variety of bombs, weapons, and several  _ ognir  _ \-- or as the paladins called them, “space apples” -- in a series of packs on their waists.  

“There is a 97.1% chance that this mission will end in total failure and death of all participants.”  Slav said, wringing his hands nervously.  

Shiro released a tense sigh slowly through his nose, trying to keep his composure.  “Thank you, Slav, for your eternal optimism.”  He said tightly.  

“Oh, that wasn’t supposed to be optimistic.”

“I know.”  

“Alright, this is as far as we can take the castle without being spotted by the Galra’s radar.”  Coran announced from his place at the castle’s controls.  “You’ll need to go the rest of the way in your lions with the cloaking devices.  Everyone grab your buddy!”

“Everyone pair up with you assigned combat partner.”  Kolivan corrected stiffly.  The only part of this plan he objected to was Coran calling it ‘the buddy system’.  

One Blade member accompanied each paladin in their lion, and they took off.  The only exception was Shiro and Ulaz, who took a pod; they couldn’t risk bringing the black lion that close to Zarkon, not while he was still fighting for its control.  

They received word from their spy on the inside that the particle barrier would be shut down very soon, so they got into their lions and pods and waited out of sight behind a moon.  Once the barrier was shut down, they had only minutes to get close to the ship before it started up again.  Under the cover of invisibility, they all flew to the underside of the command ship.  The lions waited there, and the paladins and Blades got out.  Pidge once again sliced a hole in the hull of the ship with their bayard for them to all slip through.

Once they were all inside and the hole was sealed up again, they checked the holo maps that had been installed on all of their gauntlets and split up, each of them taking a different path heading toward the main command hall, where Zarkon was sure to be.  Keith and Antok had the misfortune of being spotted by a patrol first, but they quickly incapacitated the sentry before he was able to shout for help.  

Hunk and the Blade named Lorak ended up being spotted and were forced to engage in a blaster fight in a narrow corridor.  After one too many close calls, Hunk grabbed one of the  _ ognir  _ out of his pack, shouting “Hey, check it out!  I’ve got food and I’m not afraid to use it!”  

The guard paused, seemingly taken aback, and Hunk grinned as he took a big bite of the golden, vaguely apple-shaped fruit.  The inside, he was surprised to find, was purple, and surprisingly juicy.  “Mmm, delicious food.  Boy do I love eating…”  

The guard stared at him, looking completely flabbergasted, but it was enough to give Lance, who came skidding around the corner, the chance to fire on him.  The guard dropped like a stone as he was hit square in the back.

Lance arched an eyebrow at his friend as he lowered his gun.  “You really need to work on your dirty talk.”

“I don’t like dirty talk.”  Hunk huffed, wiping some  _ ognir  _ juice off of his mouth with the back of his hand.  

“You’re literally just talking about food, in this case!”  Lance told him.  He eyed the Blade member who was still hanging back a little uncertainly.  “You’re not turned on, are you?  We talked about this.”

“It’s one thing to discuss it in theory, but quite another to see it in person.”  Lorak coughed, looking uncomfortable.  

“Channel your food-based sexual frustration into aggression and let’s go.”  Hunk told him, and they took off again, running through the corridors.  

They kept up like that, fighting any Galra sentries or guards they came across.  Weapons first, of course, but any time someone’s bayard was knocked out of their hand, or they were outnumbered, or someone had been backed into a corner, they whipped out some food and started eating it, usually with exaggerated sounds and facial expressions.  It was just enough to throw their enemy into a state of confusion so their other teammate to take them down.  Eventually, even the Blade members started doing it as well, despite their earlier hesitance, and if anything that seemed to perplex the Galra guards  _ even more _ , since it was someone of their own species.  By the time they had all secured the command decks on the ship, they had nearly depleted their stash of  _ ognir _ fruit.

“--really quite endearing, Shiro.”  Ulaz was saying as he and Shiro rounded a corner to join the rest of them.  He sounded very amused.  

“You can critique my terrible flirting skills after the mission.”  Shiro told him, wiping some purple juice away from his mouth.

“Well, ‘terrible’ might be a little strong.  ‘Inexperienced’, perhaps…” Ulaz mused.

“ _ After _ the mission.”  Shiro said firmly.  He looked around at the rest of them.  “Where’s Pidge?”

As if in answer, a resounding  _ boom _ echoed down the hallway to their right, along with a shout of “woo-hoo!  How do ya like  _ them  _ apples?!”  Moments later, the green paladin came running around the corner, tossing an  _ ognir  _ core carelessly behind them.  Pidge’s partner Tchokro followed closely on their heels, muttering something about “--still don’t understand what an ‘apple’ is, or why you feel the need to shout that every time…”  

“I told you, these look like space apples.”  Pidge said.  “Hunk, how we doing?”  

“Almost got the device in place.”  Hunk said, fixing what looked like a cross between a toaster and a miniature vacuum cleaner to a precise point on the control panel next to the door.  “You’re just in time to put in the codes.”  

Pidge and Hunk worked quickly together, moving perfectly in sync even though half the time they were asking each other for “the thingy” and the other always seemed to know what they meant.  The rest of them readied their weapons and dropped into fighting stances, ready to run inside the moment the door opened. The Blade of Marmora members all activated their own invisibility devices on their suits, seemingly disappearing from the hallway.  

“Fire in the hole!”  Pidge called out, and the two of them jumped away from the device as it sent an acute explosion directed only at the control panel.  The massive door seemed to flicker for a moment as the wards around it shut off, then the whole thing collapsed.  

They charged into the room, weapons drawn and ready, only to find that Zarkon’s throne room was… completely empty.

“Keep your guard up.”  Shiro warned, and the rest of them nodded.  Sharp eyes scanned the corners of the room, searching for any sign of movement.  

A deep, rumbling laugh filled the air, seeming to come from every direction simultaneously.  “You’re a bunch of fools if you think you can defeat me so easily…”

“If you’re so confident, show yourself!”  Keith shouted.  

“You’re nothing but a bunch of half-baked, poor excuses for paladins, and cowardly traitors who don’t deserve to be called Galra.”  Zarkon said.  “I will crush you, easily.”  

“That’s funny, because you’re still hiding!”  Lance called, peering down the eye-scope of his gun.  

“All in good time, so-called ‘paladin’...” Zarkon chuckled.  

Lance opened his mouth to retaliate, but Shiro cut him off.  “Don’t provoke him.”  

“You’re a weak leader, Champion,” Zarkon went on.  “You are undeserving of the title you hold.  You were stronger when you were here; your time with the Alteans has made you weak.  Despite that, I will take great pleasure in crushing you into oblivion and taking back the Black Lion, which is rightfully mine.”

“The Black Lion doesn’t want you!”  Shiro told him.

“What happened to not provoking him?”  Pidge muttered.  

“Do you really think I care?”  Zarkon scoffed.  “The Lions are tools to be used by whoever is strong enough to bring out their potential.  I will reclaim them, and take over the remainder of the galaxy, and I will start by destroying you, one by one.  And guess who I’m going to start with?”  There was a surge of white-purple light, and Zarkon was suddenly in front of them, ten feet tall and towering over them in his dark red armor, holding Shiro six feet off the ground by his throat.

“Screw not provoking him!”  Keith shouted, and the rest of the paladins lunged forward, attacking Zarkon all at once.  When Hunk and Lance started firing on him, though, Zarkon growled and held Shiro in front of him as a shield.  They switched to shooting at his feet, the blaster fire pinging off his plated armor.  In the confusion of the fire-fight, Keith and Pidge had both activated the cloaking devices that had been added to their own suits, and they surged forward to attack from a closer range, dodging the blaster fire.  They managed to land a joint hit to Zarkon’s arm, making him release his grip on Shiro’s neck.  Shiro dropped to the floor and nearly got hit by an errant blast from Lance’s gun as he scrambled away from Zarkon, who attempted to step on him.  Shiro fell back behind Lance and Hunk for a minute to catch his breath.

“You okay?”  Hunk asked.  

“I’m fine.”  Shiro’s voice sounded raw and he rubbed his throat.  In front of them, Zarkon growled and swatted at Pidge and Keith, moving around him unseen.

“You pesky little Xar gnats!”  He roared as Pidge jammed their bayard point into the narrow gap between his helmet and neck armor, electrocuting him.  His hand caught them just before they managed to jump off his shoulder, and he sent them flying.  Luckily, Pidge used their bayard as a grappling hook to swing from one of the ceiling beams, but they came dangerously close to swinging into one of the Blades who was setting up the explosives around the perimeter of the room.  Shiro activated his own cloaking device and charged Zarkon, hand glowing purple.  

The fight only lasted a few minutes, but it seemed to stretch on for an eternity.  Because the cloaking devices on their suits had to be seen by anyone with a paladin visor, they were more complicated, and the invisibility wore off after just a few minutes.  When it did, the five paladins flickered back into sight, and Zarkon grinned before snatching at Shiro again.  

“Hey Zarkon!”  Pidge shouted, pulling out their last  _ ognir _ fruit. “Look at this, you wrinkled old turtle!”  They took a bite of the fruit with an exaggerated “ _ mmmm _ !”

Zarkon barely even paused before letting out a cold laugh.  “That may have worked on my pitiful guards, but I am above such distractions.  I have no interest in eating.  You must be at the end of your wits, to try something so foolish.”  

“ _ Zarkon  _ is  _ ace _ ?”  Hunk said, shocked.  “ _ How _ ?!”  

“Think later, act now!”  Keith shouted, charging forward.  Zarkon smirked and swung Shiro, still in his grip, at the red paladin, forcing him to skid to a stop before he accidentally ran Shiro through with his sword.  

Lance took the opportunity to fire on Zarkon’s exposed side.  “Pidge!  Hunk!  Do something!”

“What are we supposed to do?!”  Pidge shouted.

“I don’t know, use your ace powers!”

“ _ We don’t have ace powers, Lance! _ ”  

Hunk laid down a barrage of fire on Zarkon’s other side, until the emperor once again used Shiro’s body as a shield.  Pidge caught sight of Lance reaching into one of his packs.  “Food doesn’t work!”  They hissed at him as they ran past.  

Ignoring them, Lance charged forward, drawing his arm back to throw something small and flesh-colored right at Zarkon’s head.  The dildo flew through the air and bounced off of Zarkon’s helmet.  He caught it as it fell.

“You  _ brought  _ Richard?!”  Hunk exclaimed.

“It’s a good luck charm!”  Lance replied.  

Zarkon looked down at the object, tiny in his palm, and he seemed confused.  “What on…?”  His grip on Shiro slackened slightly, allowing the black paladin to activate his Galra-tech hand and slice his way free.  Zarkon frowned as Shiro broke his fall with a roll and sprinted away, the Galra looking as mildly annoyed as if he had just gotten a paper cut on his hand instead of a laser-hot strike.  

Shiro caught sight of the Blade of Marmora members giving him the sign they were all waiting for.  “Retreat!”  He shouted, and the rest of their team bolted for the doors.  Zarkon growled and started after them, and they saw him one last time before the doors slammed shut.  Even then, they kept running, as fast as they could through the corridors they had cleared on their way in, and managed to get around a corner before a massive  _ boom  _ exploded behind them, sending a wave of heat and light that would have incinerated them if they had been in its path. 

When the explosions finally ceased, they wasted no time in returning to their lions and pods.  The entire area of Zarkon’s throne room was nothing more than a gaping hole in the side of the ship, completely demolished by the half a dozen bombs that had been rigged up around the perimeter of the room while the paladins had been distracting the emperor.  The bomb was somewhat similar to a low-grade hydrogen bomb mixed with the Galra’s own ion cannon design, making it unlikely that Zarkon had survived the blast, at least according to Coran’s calculations.  Slav’s calculations were a bit less favorable, but that was also factoring in alternate realities, which Shiro had acknowledged was all well and good, but reminded him that they needed to focus on  _ this _ reality.

After they made it back to the Castle, Allura steered the ship through a wormhole to put some distance between them, in case the Galra sent a fleet after them.  

“Woo hoo!  We did it!”  Lance cheered, pumping his fist in the air.

“We  _ probably  _ did it.”  Hunk corrected.  “There’s still a slim chance that he could have somehow survived.”

“You’ve been hanging out with Slav too much.”  Lance said, throwing his arm around his friend’s neck.  

“Don’t touch me, you’re covered in radiation.”  Hunk made a face at him.  

“You’re just as covered in radiation as I am!”  Lance protested.

“We are  _ all  _ covered in radiation particles, and need to get into the cryo-pods immediately for decontamination.”  Ulaz reminded them.

As they headed for the lion hangar’s exit, Shiro paused at the foot of the Black Lion.  He laid a hand on one of her massive toes, nearly as high as his waist.   _ What do you think, Black?  Did we get him?   _

The Black Lion rumbled, a content purr that echoed through his mind, and sent him an image of the astral plane.  It was empty as far as the eye could see, and the light seemed to glow a softer shade of lavender rather than the harsh magenta it had been when he had last battled Zarkon there.  The air felt different; he couldn’t see it, but he could  _ feel  _ something was different here, like a fresh breeze blowing away the thick haze of pollution.  The astral plane was already beginning to heal itself, no longer under Zarkon’s control. 

“Shiro?”  

He opened his eyes and found Ulaz watching him, head cocked slightly in curiosity.  Shiro smiled, incredibly tired and bruised, and possibly with a broken rib, but relieved all the same.  “We did it.”  

The war wasn’t over, not yet.  There would undoubtedly still be Galra forces that would fight them, even without their emperor.  But they would be scattered, disorganized.  Those were fights that could wait until tomorrow, after they had been decontaminated, healed, fed (for the humans, at least), and had rested.  For now, the universe was safe.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Action scenes are hard. Let me know if it worked out, it still looks a little weird to me. Also I know hardly anything about bombs and didn't really want to google "how does a hydrogen bomb work" on my work computer (in a country that doesn't have a great history with bombs no less), so.... futuristic space science! *jazz hands* If they can get to Pluto in mere seconds, they can make a bomb that explodes only in one part of a spaceship.
> 
> Let me know if you liked this fic! I had fun writing it. I have a tumblr, too, if you're interested: wildwolf25.tumblr.com


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